Tuesday, February 26, 2002 Back from the U.S. of A. Dennis has returned to Canada after a week in sunny Florida to bring you AMERICA : UNCENSORED This promises to be the biggest blog ever.... hold on to your butts....
The trip was a long and treacherous one in to the heart of America. A 23 hour drive to Florida from Canada - a caffeine-fueled, minimum pit-stops, anti-bladder breaks, maximum sleep deprivation. Passing through state after state - Georgia turned out to be a whopper!!
We jumped onto 75 North and that was it.... all the way down the whole f***ing country. Florida or bust.
Porn in the USA "WE BARE ALL" screamed billboards along the highway in the same tones as the sirens calling sailors towards the rocks. "Adult Cafes" were to be found at most rest stops, enticing road-weary truckers looking for a bit of T&A with their R&R.
The Sunshine State 25C every day! Volleyball, hot tubs and beer!! Paradise found!!!
Baby back ribs I want my baby back, baby back, baby back, baby back RIBS.
Baaaaabbbbbbyyyy baby back RIBS. - Fat Bastard, 'The Spy who Shagged Me'
"Sonnys" was an awesome adventure into the greasy world of ribs. An American tradition and the most damning evidence as to why most Yankees are complete porkers... sorry I mean endomorphs.
Despite being a chain restaurant, "Sonnys" endeavored to look as homely and one-off as any road-side dive. This one was no exception. Congratulations for looking like a shit-pit.
Crossing the border A car packed to the roof with boxes of citrus fruits..... A border back into Canada..... An officer bucking for promotion..... A rubber-gloved hand balled into a fist!! Not this time - thankfully.
So it's adios America and back to your chilly neighbour - until next time.
DD
Thursday, February 14, 2002 HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY! Happy? Depends on who you are, I suppose. If you're alone I suppose it could be pretty despicable. Down-right depressing. The Valentine's Day Massacre, probably.
Of course, I'd never know because I've got 'em queuing around the bloody block!! Oh yeah! Daigle's here and he's rocking the mike for y'all....
It's Valentine's Day and..........
All the girls are looking for a bit of BLING BLING
All the men want is a bit of RING A DING DING
When they get it, they all SING SING
Oh Dennis Daigle is the KING KING I know, I know - don't give up the day job. I'll be back blogging in a week - no, not because I will be exhausted following tonight but because Daigle's going on vacation to Florida. Watch your backs!
11:21 AM
Wednesday, February 13, 2002
WARNING! I am going to America. The land of cheese burgers and Backstreet Boys... President Dubya.... Terra! Terra! Terra!
It was only a matter of time. Here I am, populating the huge neighbour of USA. It was only so long before I crept into their world of flags and consumerism for a shufties. And the time has almost come....
This Friday, I'm flying the coup for Florida.
A week in the sun! No snow for a week! Alas, no Dennis Daigle blogs for a week.
If you can live without me for 7 days +, then ditto.
Bon Voyage to those of you travelling and to everyone else - I'll be back! Prepare yourselves for America: Undercover 10:32 AM
Tuesday, February 12, 2002 Receive a portion of Daigle in your e-mail? If you like the idea of a chunk of the Double Dee in your Inbox and updates on the latest developments in the world of Dennis Daigle.com just send a blank e-mail to dennis@dennisdaigle.com
Easy as pie....
10:35 AM
Back from Ottawa - the capital of Canada.
I bought my first pair of ice skates and managed to enjoy a weekend of skating without once kissing my ass on the ice! In Ottawa, the people flock to the frozen canal to skate and eat beavertails. NO - not roadkill! Beavertails are pastry products shaped like... you guessed it. Delicious!
Now I have a pair of ice skates to lie idly under my bed beside my idle roller blades. Some things never change...
10:20 AM
Monday, February 11, 2002
Check out Celebritymate now for the latest CARBON review !
8:30 AM
Friday, February 08, 2002
Duuuuuddddeeeessss. The Daiglemeister has been super-busy on the writing front.
Have been promoting a rocking Ontarionian (is 'Ontarionian' a real word?) band called CARBON - I mean, what else am I gonna do over here?
I'm trying to convince them to gig at venues where beer is cheaper than 5 bucks a glass.... if there is such a place in Canadia.
Dennis is DIRTY. Problems with the plumbing at Camp Daigle has meant no showers or washing up (Yayyyy!) for three days. Thank Him upstairs that I am heading out of town this weekend for Ottawa (and hot running water) - Sweet!
A w'kend of ice-skating and snow and hot-tubs.... hey, do I know how to live, or what?!
8:20 AM
Tuesday, February 05, 2002
Well, Superbowl XXXVI caused upset on Sunday night - and it had nothing to do with the cheesey jingoistic Patriotism. Nope, it was all because underdogs New England beat St Louis 20-17. The name of New England's team? The Patriots....
There were flags (including the actual flag from the top of The World Trade Center - I bet he has some bookings with Oprah and Sally Jessie too) at every turn of the show. The warm-up act was a post-breakdown Mariah Carey and the half-time act was U2. "We love you America!" said Irish rocker Bono. "We love you America" said Brit Paul McCartney. Yes, we all love you America - and feel sorry for you too.
Behind U2 as they played was the names of every single person who died on '9/11' - a touching, if not distracting, gesture.
I read somewhere that one of these days Uncle Sam is going to reclaim his star spangled banner, but, for now, the flag belongs to the citizens of the U.S.A.
8:50 AM
Sunday, February 03, 2002
The snow is gone - for now. Well, that's to say it isn't falling out of the sky, but it's never far from our minds.... Because now huge drifts of it are piled all over the place. The ploughs drive the thick covering on the roads into neat corners; leaving the rest to turn into brown and grey slush. Yet, the ridiculous white mountains sit on street corners and in parking lots - like crazy faceless snow slobs keeping watch on the empty tarmac until the day comes when they can rule the earth again...
Oh yeah, yesterday was Groundhog Day and - before you ask - no, the day did not repeat over again and again. But, the Yankees and the Canucks did yank some fat rodent out of his happy home and stare at his butt in search of a shadow. Apparently the little critters can forecast the weather for the next six weeks! I think we have the same thing in England - like if the cows are sitting down then it means it's going to rain.
Saturday, February 02, 2002
Slippery ice. Schools and University were shut again on Friday. Brrrrrrrrr.
But, on the plus side, Dennis Daigle is developing bulging man-muscles from his tireless snow-shoveling. By the power of Greyskull, help me move this heavy white stuff off of the sidewalk!!!
Finally, my fourth movie script is finished. As Daigle fans may or may not know, I write pretty much around the clock. What can I say, stuff occurs to me and I write it down. I don't really cares if anyone reads it - Jack Kerouac once said that he considers it his duty on Earth to write. I consider it my duty on Earth to write too (I didn't say it was as good as Kerouac's work, though....).
Anyways, the point? If the script is finito then it is one step closer to pay day. Thank F---
Reminds me of something Hunter S. Thompson (another writer - keep up people!) once said: "Thanks to all of those who supported me with out whom a writer couldn't write." I was paraphrasing then, by the way. I don't have the quote in front of me. But, basically he said I'm unemployed, writing and ta for the free food....
D.D.
8:22 AM
