Thursday, January 31, 2002 The Snow Strikes Back! It's the worst I've ever seen. I awoke to a heavy blanket of snow. Icy cold winds. I even shovelled the driveway and minutes later the falling snow had reclaimed the pavement. Hamilton's McMaster University has surrendered to winter and closed down for the day.
In truth, I'm amazed it opened to start with. The roads are treacherous and many haven't been cleared yet. All flights have been cancelled in Toronto.
This morning, I opened the inner door and somehow snow had sneaked in through the outer door and created a mini-snow wall! How devious!!
Despite all of this.... snow is still cool.
10:22 AM
Wednesday, January 30, 2002
Earlier this week, I was getting the blame for all the warm weather in Canada - totally unseasonal for January. But, nevertheless, today there isn't a trace of it! That's right - it's freezing again!!
Although some exciting news to warm up everyone's cockles - The Daiglemeister has scored an interview with former Boston banker turned porn star Heather Barron. She's done it all - Las Vegas escort, porn producer and adult film actress. The uncensored interview will be unleashed shortly on Dennis Daigle's cousin site www.celebritymate.co.uk I can't wait to ask her what's the difference between being a banker and a porn star? Because surely both involve screwing people....
Monday, January 28, 2002
NIAGARA - I saw the edge and was tempted to taste the mist, hurtling head first over the cascading waters, getting a mouthful of the foggy spray at the bottom. Yes - I survived a visit to The Falls.... Read my observations of a little place called Niagara below....
The tack factor was high at the souvenier joints in and around Niagara. In fact it is no surprise that the neighbouring (smaller) town of Niagara on the Lake has disallowed the use of neon and electric signs and imposed a "wooden signs only" ban. On sale: Cuban cigars, T-shirts, tickets to garish Carnie attractions like Haunted Houses, Ghost Trains and Freak Shows. The traders and show men will take Canadian or U.S. dollars; it makes no difference to them.
Nearby is an 'on-foot' entrance to the U. S. of A. - just walk over The Rainbow Bridge (does that make it a gay bridge?). Although, first you have to pass through Border Control (Rainbow Border Control?)... The only thing in the world that frightens Dennis Daigle is a man with a licence to wear a rubber glove.
Link of the day? The "World famous" Niagara Falls Cam. More fear and loathing from Canada tomorrow.
Friday, January 25, 2002
Getting ready for the trek to Niagara Falls tomorrow - the beautiful scenery should make up for the lack of snow at the moment. Then again today is like a summer's day! Blue sky - blue sky - blue sky.
Okay, now I've got that soppy, sappy, I love nature stuff out of my system, on to the real stuff....
CANADA UNDERCOVER: The rumour mills on this side of the ocean have been feeding The Daiglemeister the 411 on Canadian counter culture for over a week now. Here comes the truth, the whole truth and... the word on the street....
DENNIS DAIGLE'S FIRST UPDATE --
"Tim Hortons" coffee has crack in it, allegedly. I have heard from Canadian citizens that their favourite coffee house chain slips narcotics into its lattes to 1) Give 'users' that extra kick up the ass in the morning and 2) Keep 'em coming back for more. True or false, is not for me to decide... One thing I can vouch for is - they make some righteous coffee! SMACK MY COFFEE UP!
Watch this space for future updates. End transmission.
Thursday, January 24, 2002
The shop is officially open and my ugly face is on at least half the merchandise!
Yaaay! And after that brief celebration.... a snow update:
Today, icy rain has rained on the snow parade (so to speak) - all the snow has washed away. The streets are SNOWLESS.
And on to more pressing matters - Macgyver. I was watching an old rerun and he bumped into an ex-girlfriend and EVEN she called him MacGyver! What the hell is that guy's first name? Or is it MacGyver? Who knows or cares? Answers on the back of a lump of snow to:
Mr. Daigle,
Ontario,
Canada,
Above America.
11:20 AM
Wednesday, January 23, 2002
Peace.
I'm back after a days absence. Got caught up in Hollywood shennanigans yesterday - beware because a movie with Dennis Daigle collaboration is closer than you may think...
Snow has melted mostly here - but there's still enough on the ground to drive most English people to their garages/attics in search of that long forgotten sled or toboggan. Rose bud.
Setting up a trip on the weekend to NIAGARA FALLS. Considering bringing a barrel along in case I get tempted to ride the rapids.
Well, I've only had my own on-line shop for two days, Dennis Daigle: The F***ing Shop, and already there's problems - all the merchandise is plain white. No logos or nothing.
No wonder I haven't sold one F***ing T-shirt (TM) - my face isn't on it!! Once I sort out this glitch and get my mug on a couple of these products, you just watch them sell...
11:47 AM
Monday, January 21, 2002
Lucky I bought those snow boots yesterday because someone up above took it as a sign to dump snow all over Canada and America... I've been out shoveling and it's the deepest yet!
I was watching an American Football game the other day and the snow was settling on the quarterback's immense shoulders - Unbelievable! Nobody stops here for snow - not even to lie down and make 'snow angels'!? They don't know how lucky they are. But Old Dennis can appreciate it -he knows the warmth of a luxurious bed, no mistake...
By the way, for those of you who HERO WORSHIP (and rightly goddam so) yours truly - check out the NEWEST addition to The Daigle Family - My very own on-line store - http://www.cafepress.com/DennisDaigle First I have Hollywood knocking at my door asking about "Dennis Daigle: The F***ing Movie" and then the next thing you know there's "Dennis Daigle: The F***ing Shop"
Who would believe it?! And the way I've been banging on about all this snow, you'd be not far wrong in thinking that I will be selling that next! If only I could find the time.....
10:02 AM
Sunday, January 20, 2002
Heeeerrrreeee's Dennis!
Well, my recent blogs have been more like a SNOW DIARY rather than a heartless and revealing undercover expose into the seedy underbelly of Canadian life (?!).... and to continue in this tradition - here's a snow update!
It's practically all melted, but that didn't stop the Double D going out today and purchasing a kick ass pair of SNOW BOOTS. Oh yeah - they're large and in charge!
Only 30 buckerooneys for the biggest, sub zero tolerant, water proof, in your f- face SNOW BOOTS you ever clamped your eyes on.
And then, in keeping with this wintery spending spree, I kitted myself out with 'neck warmer,' 'long johns' (you better believe The Daiglemeister is long, john) and tried on 'toques' - which I think is Canadian for hat, but don't quote me on that.
Today the wind chill factor was minus 9 - for all you weather watchers, just click here to find out how chilled DD is right at this very moment...
4:04 PM
Saturday, January 19, 2002
How did the basketball game go? The team I was backing lost. Well, I was probably expecting too much from a bunch of eleven year olds...
Hi there, thermometre watchers - it was a chilly MINUS EIGHT last night and today doesn't feel too toasty either.
A couple of seconds of Canadian winter sans gloves leaves one with ten digits that resemble fat swollen sausages. If you go from outdoors to indoors to outdoors again, you get a headache like you've just gobbled a whole tub of Hagen Daz. You've been warned.
What do you think of the new template? Tell me at dennis@dennisdaigle.com
9:47 AM
Friday, January 18, 2002
Hey - This is Commander Daigle, checking in with his cadets. No new snow today. Which means no shoveling - probably for the best 'cos I ache all over after yesterday's efforts. Can't believe that the temperature is -2 and it's midday.
Tonight going to see a basketball game (warning: flashback ahead) and the last time I saw a basketball game.....
Was when the Houston Rockets in Texas whupped some team's behind and later went on to become World Champions (well, when I say 'World' I mean 'America' - but in America if you're the best they assume you're the best in the World too).
Yeah, so I'm expecting big things from tonight's team, as they're being watched by the Houston Rocket's lucky charm: one Dennis Daigle. Uh-huh.
If you want to contact The Daiglemeister, get on the e-mail to dennis@dennisdaigle.com
If you ask me nicely I might just do it....
9:30 AM
Thursday, January 17, 2002
Hey Hey, Daiglerinos!! This is the man himself. Dennis Daigle Lives!
I survived a potentially perilous journey across lands and oceans to arrive back in fair Canada. You know, Canada (the place where Big Foot was born). And guess what was here to greet me........ Snow! And shed loads of it.
And I'm not talking about your common garden shed variety - I mean a shed that could hold a heap of the white stuff.
My first task on my first day in Canada? Shoveling the drive-way.
Wait a minute.... Dennis doing chores. @#!* off - this was Dennis doing something new. Shoveling snow rocks! Take it from me, I kicked that snows ass - right off the 'sidewalk' (if you're a Brit, please read pavement) and on to the street/road. Boyaka!
Anyway, everything here is a festive colour - except the air which is always BLUE when the dreaded Double D is around.....
11:24 AM
Friday, January 11, 2002
By the way - before I dash check out this fantastic link.... boy oh boy they is fine (wink wink! know what I mean say no more) www.britneyspearsrudebits.com 3:19 PM
My oh my Bloggerinos... This is the Double D. in da house - checking out my Blogging page. Nice and Spicey, mon gar. Well, I am presently captivating the U.K. It's Eleven 13 PM on a Friday nite. They don't know how lucky they are. I am only days away from a flight to foreign lands... flight of the intruder. Da Man. Da Daigle. Keep up to date on my travels, campers - you know who at www.dennisdaigle.com 3:17 PM
Thursday, January 10, 2002
The Daiglemeister is suffering after a trippy night in the cinema with David Lynch's latest effort: Mulholland Drive. Woah! Where does that guy get his coffee... because I want some! Man, there was even this hairy monster thing in the movie (which I think may have followed me home from the theatre!!).
Have a good day, but if you are going to have a bad day - make sure it's the goddam worst ever.
4:00 AM
